I had a few moments to myself to think about things. Nothing life changing, just what was going on within myself. I don't feel better but when you want something and don't get it there is always that lingering sadness.

I don't want trying to have a baby to consume my life. I don't want to have to chart and take my temps, while timing sex and taking drugs and all that. I want it to happen because it's God's will and I have to accept that if it's going to happen it's because we are truly deserving of a second child. Some people aren't even blessed with one child, so I shouldn't let it hurt so bad that I can't have a second.

I know I don't come across as the most religious person in the world but I don't believe I need to speak of my faith or preach to people, just to be a "good" Christian woman. I am often a sinner(aren't we all at some point) but at the end of the day I know the reason I am here, and that I am subject to a higher power.

I am going to make a doctor's appointment and see what she says, and if she doesn't give me enough info or do what I feel is a thorough exam I will find a new GYN, and go from there.

Thank you for your support. It makes me smile just to know you take time to show sympathy.