my new materials

A girl at work wanted me to make her a bag, so she bought me the brown and blue quilted material as "payment." I thought it was really sweet of her, since I didn't ask her to pay for it besides the materials she wanted (she doesn't have the same taste as me, so I couldn't use any in my stash. The other material is the one I mentioned before. The photo doesn't do it justice.

I learned how to do a rolled hem and a french seam from the girls at work today. Both will come in handy for the bags I need to make.

The dick manager left me alone again today, I wonder what's up? I am greatful for the reprieve but it's got me on my toes.

James had to work a split shift today, which are awful. It means he opens and works until 5pm, but has to be back at 9pm. It sucks. He thinks it's silly to come home, get comfy and then turn around and come back. He said he was gonna stay all day. We have Karate at 5:30 so I told him to at least take a break, eat some dinner, and then go back. (and this way he can have the car and I won't have to go out at midnight to pick him up) So that's the plan.

Now I'm going to eat some cereal :)

Simple pleasures.

I got a beautiful remnant from work today. It's a chocolate satin with shimmery gold, copper and burgundy leaves (like Japanese maples I think) embroidered on it. I got almost a yard for only $2. Whoever tagged remnants today had the prices all wrong! Lucky me, and all the rest of the customers who bought them. I am going to buy solid chocolate sating and make shams for my bed. It would make beautiful bed linens, but I am NOT that talented, so I am settling for the shams.

One of the girls from work wants me to make her a tote bag. She chose a quilted fabric (so it won't need to be lined) but I have no idea how to hide the rough edges, ANY SUGGESTIONS? The whole point of using a liner (in my opinion) is to hide the seams.

I had to buy more cold medicine for little J and this time I got Dimetapp. It's awesome. It didn't make him nutty or overly drowsy, and his runny nose and cough is gone. I only give him the medicine at night so he can get some rest. Last night I gave him Triamenic and he was still coughing all night. I won't buy that again.

I work 5 days this week. That's an extra $60 dollars on my paycheck, YAY!

I applied at yet another bank, hopefully I will land this job. It really sucks that most banks here stay open until 6 pm. Even if I put J in after care I couldn't work that late. Daycare closes at 6 and James doesn't get out of work early or consistently enough. Let's hope we can work something out. I really want to get back to a real job.

In Joann news, dick manager left me alone today. Noticeably so, I wonder why?

Almost time for CSI Miami and The Gaunlet 2. Both my favorites. I can watch both because the commercial sequences are at different times. :)

I wonder why?

I want some cereal sooo bad. Weird I know. I guess I will go to the store when James gets home. I already did this pay period's major grocery shopping but we need a few more things, and now I've added cereal to the list. I also have to stop at Sam's for water, juice boxes and egg-rolls. I LOVE egg-rolls and it's cheaper to buy them in bulk.

Tomorrow is library day. I took James' advice and only get a few books at a time, this way I am better about bringing them back on time. We're back to our routine, before I started working we went once a week. The library is 2 streets over from the complex so it makes it so much easier to get there. (they were remodeling and the one we were using was about 10 minutes away, but on a VERY busy road)

I have to send my sister her birthday box, but I haven't found a box big enough for the pillows. I should have sent the shams and given her a gift card to buy the pillows. The whole effect is better if you see the pillows in the shams, so I decided not to. I may just wrap them in brown paper. I also have some things to send to my nephews.

I have a few things to sell on Ebay, but I don't know that I want the hassle for just a couple dollars. I have some patterns that I never used (and I don't think I'll ever get around to them) a couple pair of shoes I bought for little James but he never wore, and a few other odds and ends. In total it only adds up to about $25 worth of stuff (remember I only buy stuff on sale) so I may just hang onto it for now.

James has Karate tomorrow night (as you all know) and it's time for him to get a new patch. He has 4 "victory" patches he needs to get. To earn a new v-patch he has to earn 25 stars. He gets stars for doing well (school home or karate) This will be his third patch and he will have to earn 50 stars this time (to get to the 4th.) But to actually get the patch he has to bring someone to watch a class. James said he would ask his brother. I am not sure he'll be able to make it tomorrow but I am hoping for sometime this week.

I am in the mood to make another bag, but don't have any reason to. So I just keep going through all my fabric. I think I may get some foam and make a coushion for our bench. But I am undecided since the dog hair issue.

For right now I am going to drink my tea, and dream up a reason to start a new bag.

It's finished!

I love this bag!

J didn't get home until midnight and he was back up at 6:30. I have no idea why he had to leave so early. Even when he opens he doesn't leave until 7:30 or so. But he's off tomorrow, so at least he can get some sleep.

He turned the air on last night and it was freezing in here. He doesn't pay attention to what he sets it to (a standing argument) he just walks by and swipes it down, the lower ya go the colder it gets, so when he turns it on it'll usually run all night since it's set to about 60. That really makes me angry. I don't care that it's on but he could take the extra 5 seconds and set it to 75 or so. Especially with little James being sick, he doesn't need to be cold.

We took a hot shower to clear his stuffy nose, and now we're trying to get ourselves dressed. I wanted to go down and get a paper but now I don't feel like it. I hope J isn't working another long shift so that I can get one later this evening.

I am really hoping that the people upstairs won't renew their lease. I have a whole list of complaints (that I haven't complained about) and I wish we'd get somebody new up there. The last three years of apt living were so easy. The people upstairs walked heavy but were rarely home. We didn't have anyone below us (it was the model apt) It's been a year and I still haven't gotten used to the people upstairs. Oh well. If they don't move I will slowly make all my complaints known.

Now I need to go dry my hair.

Bag Borrow Or Steal

Whoever came up THIS idea must be making a fortune. It's a website that loans desinger handbags for a monthly membership fee.

I'm boring

I typed a whole entry and then deleted it. I say the same thing every day and it's getting old. I mean does anyone really care how karate went or that I didn't clean even though I needed to?

My house is slightly cleaner then most days. I'll finish up tomorrow.

Barnes and Noble and books on clearance for $1. I bought two. I don't know why since I have been going to the library. I guess I just needed to buy something for myself.

I am debating on putting James in after care and working full time at Joann's. Two things are holding me back. They have karate day camps in the summer that I want James to go to (I'm not sure what time they are) The other is the fact that I hate one of the managers, the one I am always complaining about! The other day he told me to go to floral (I had just clocked in and the store had just opened) I said ok (not nicely) S. was counting the "bank" and it came up short. I offered to count it for her (I guess I was reverting to bank teller mode) The manager got all pissed off and said "it doesn't take to people to count a fucking drawer" (yep the manager cursed at me) I don't mind people that curse. I have the worst mouth. What I do mind is when people that are in management swear AT me. I twirled around and smarted off right back. I told him her drawer was short so yeah sometimes it does take two people to count a FUCKING drawer. I was so pissed. I don't think he gets me at all, cuz he just stared at me. I then told him I heard him tell me to go to floral and I would as soon as I was done there, I didn't need him hovering over me, doesn't he have a job he needs to be doing?

I just don't get this asshole. All the other managers, hell even the employees, are really nice. He just has a stick up his butt all the time. He is totally inappropriate and I don't know how he got a manager position. I KNOW I KNOW. When it comes down to it, it's him over me. But I only work 12 hours a week, who are we kidding? One more time and I'm out the door, let him find some other chick to fuck with. So yeah I guess I won't be switching to full time, but I may apply elsewhere. I wonder if they have an employee discount at Target. Wouldn't that be great?

I took this from Lori. It is sooo not me (the description of me not the car)

You Should Drive a Ford Explorer SportTrac

Tough and supercharged, you have some rather extreme driving practices. You've been known to intimidate a few drivers. You rule the road.

What 2007 Car Should You Drive?

Time to kill.

I got up at 6:45 because James has to work. I went to wake him at 7:15 and he says he works a mid today. Wish the jerk had told me. I got up an hour early. But I really woke up at 6 because some asshole was walking their yap yap dog and what was it doing? YAPPING. Right outside my window. If my window was easy to open I would have cursed at them.

I vacuumed my back porch and took the contents to the office. The look on the manager's face was a priceless mix of disbelief, shock, and disgust. She kept it to show the guy upstairs. James was really pissed, I guess he didn't realize how bad it was, since I have been cleaning it up before he saw it, in all it's nasty glory.

We haven't found a house or a condo that we like or is in our price range. Once you add the insane monthly HOA fees to the condo price, the monthly bill is twice what we pay now, NO THANK YOU! We will sign a 7 month lease here, even though I am tired of it I don't want the hassle of moving and new deposits and such.

I guess I ought to get moving now. I want to make out my grocery list.

Friday Five

1. First time you cooked for someone else? Umm I made sloppy joe's for my 13th birthday party. I wish I hadn't, they were awful.
2. First time you threw up in someone else's toilet? Only once. I went out after work and the guys bought me a shot of Tequila (my first) I immediately headed to the bathroom and puked. I haven't had tequila since.
3. First time you did anything illegal? I stole makeup from Kmart in Jr high
4. First time you saw snow/the ocean (whichever is more exotic)? Martha's Vineyard, I was little, maybe 7. It was the Atlantic Ocean. Too cold to swim in at the time.
5. First thought when I say "crumple-horned snorcack"? What?

Friday Five

Great so far

I started off my day with a LONG HOT shower. It was fabulous. I was so glad to find they came to fix the water heater last night.

We had enough time on our way to school to get gas (we were on E) and to stop at Dunkin Donuts. We didn't have them in MS so I was in donut hell, as I don't really like Krispy Kremes. They were delicious!

Work was NOT awful. I volunteered to stock the jewelry section (it's only seasonal and floral I hate) and that took up most of my day. My shift flew by!

James and I went to Tar*get and they had laundry soap on clearance for $3.38 ( I pay $5.38 @ W*mart) Talk about excited! Then I found really cute stuff in the $1 aisle. I got a Fridge magnet note pad with Calla lilies and a 4 pack of pens to match. They had really cute fish (totally Finding Nemo) bathroom stuff, so I may go back on payday. I am going to re-do James bathroom, I think he has outgrown Winnie The Pooh! I was going to buy this really cool world map shower curtain (from Target) and then use solid accessories, but if they still have the fish I'm gonna get that instead.

We have Karate at 4pm and then we pick up J. Not sure what we'll have for dinner.

Ooooh. This I called the office this morning about the dog hair and bad parking. But before I started complaining I thanked her for fixing the water heater (kill em w/ kindness, my mom says) She was totally sympathetic to both problems (let's hope it was sincere) so we'll see if it changes. Let's hope it does cuz if we don't find a house in 8 days we will be renewing our lease, but only for 6 months this time.

Whatta day

Today I come home to find they haven't been over to fix the water heater, but they did give me my renewal info, which I asked for two weeks ago. They require a 60 day notice if you are going to move out. (the other complex was 30 days, both are owned by the same company) That means we have to decide by the 31. Um hello that's like 8 fucking days. Assholes.

I don't think we are going to be able to find a house. I called the real estate agent today and explained our problem with the houses but not being able to afford more. So we decided to look at some condo's also. The condo's we like (cuz they're in our price range) require 5% to be put into escrow, that's $7500. We don't have that money, we barely have the $1000 the real estate company puts into escrow. And then we have to have $2200 in the bank if we want an FHA loan, which is one of two loans we can get. And $350 for the appraisal. HOLY CRAP we can't afford this, and it makes me want to cry.

Besides that I was having a good day. I can't wait till James gets home so we can talk about it in depth. God I wish we had won that 50 million lottery jackpot on Saturday. Someone did, lucky bastard.

I'm in NO mood

First we had two hours of karate, by the end of the second class james was getting nutty, so I am at my wit's end. I come home and find NO parking (as fucking usual) and some asshole took up two spaces. ASSHOLE. I am leaving a note on the car and I am complaining to the office. There is never enough parking back by our building and a few of the tenants make it worse by parking their cars all willy nilly. The spaces are pretty tight so if you aren't perfectly even between the lines the space next to you is impossible to fit into, even with a small ass Kia. So after I found a space I came inside to find they haven't come back to fix my water heater and the man upstairs has his bass thumping too loud for my liking. I will be calling corporate if they don't fix my damn water heater or at least come back and look at it again tomorrow, but I won't complain about the man upstairs. It's not something he does often, it's only 8pm, and he never complains when James has his surround sound on (which is also too loud for my liking) He may be a pain in the ass but I'll bite my tongue.

Holy crap, little james is wasting the precious bit of hot water he has for a bath, gotta go.

I'm complaining again

The dog that lives above us sheds onto our back porch. It's driving me crazy and I think I'll have to say something. If they were good neighbors (like me) they would lay down a rug of some sort. Hell I sprung for outdoor carpeting, me the queen of cheap spent $25 to cover the floor as to not disturb the people below......

Other complaint. Something smells outside. I am not sure where it is coming from. But it's a mix of old lady, powder and feminine body wash. EWWWWW. It's awful and I really wanted to sit outside. I can't even open my door.

End complaints*


James is passed out on my bed, he fell asleep watching animal planet. I cleaned the fish tank and did one load of laundry, but we are still having a hot water problem so I haven't much else. What's the point of washing things in ice cold water?

I did clean up the living room a bit, at least there's not piles of crap everywhere.

I went to Joann's yesterday and couldn't find anything to match the new fabric I bought. I was looking for something to line it and make straps with. I guess that bag will wait until I can find something that looks good. They had vases on sale so I got a new "ivy bowl," since I smashed my other one and another small vase to put my spider plant babies in. I added blue glass rocks and they look so cute. Since they only cost 50 cents each I am going to get a few more tomorrow. I have so many plant cuttings and I only had one small vase(the one I broke.) Until I bought the new ones I had them growing in a pickle jar, which worked but was ugly.

J Sr is working a mid shift today so I guess I better make myself something for dinner. J Jr already ate. Hmmm what'll I have. Chilly sounds awesome but I don't have any crackers, damn. I could make sloppy joe's but I don't have any chips, double damn. Salad it is......

One step at a time

I applied for financial aid for school. I don't have any idea what I want to be when I grow up, even after having 6 years to decide. I should have a degree already but I had to buck the system (mom) and let my indecisiveness get the best of me.

I often run careers by my mom since she knows me best. A couple months ago I thought being an preschool/elementary art teacher would be awesome for me. I'm not very artistic but I am crafty and always have been. If I taught younger kids it would be more crafts and less still lives. Mom has dismissed many of my ideas (she'll believe it when she sees it kinda thing) When I told her this idea she was truly excited about it. James laughed at me when I came up with the idea, he feels just like my mom, he take what I say with a grain of salt. I talk a good talk but never follow through. But to have Mom believe in me? I figured it was a good idea, and it's something I actually like. Do I want to be a cashier for the rest of my life, NO!

So besides that career choice I also need one that is a 2 yr degree, so I can get a better job. I need the money.

My sis is taking interior design which I think is cute, if she ever decides to be one she'll do great (she has the luxury of taking classes just because she can, I can't afford to do that)

Now I have to get ready for karate.

Please leave a comment on any career fields you think I might do well in.

Donuts

I took this from Lori and Darlene, because they were both glazed and I thought maybe it was a conspiracy, as neither of them are "plain" like their descriptions state. So I tried my luck figuring if anyone was a glazed donut it would be me. I was wrong.

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

This is sooo me. Pouting when my cholocate iced donut is sold out, yeah that's definately me!

Houses

We went and looked at 4 houses last night and none of them worked. The first house was in the WORST neighborhood. The second house was in a not so nice neighborhood but it was cute, until we hit the bathrooms that is. Why did people think mint green and pink tiling is fabulous? This is the second home that has used these colors in the bathrooms. The 3rd house had exposed brick under the windows, two walls covered in crackled mirrors, hot pink carpeting and paneled walls. YUCK. I know you are not supposed to not look at the cosmetics but we wouldn't have the money to change all that crap for awhile. The 4th house wasn't in bad neighborhood, but had moldy ceilings and roaches. So the search is still on, but the available houses in our price range is pretty slim.

Besides that we got into a fight over the loan stuff, and we have been ignoring each other since Wednesday. (except for while we were with the realtor) My problem is James never wants to talk. As soon as you say something he doesn't like he won't talk anymore. My problem is I want him to freakin talk. So I get mad at him for shutting up, he gets mad at me for not shutting up, and then we ignore each other for days. This time he said I was yelling, I wasn't but I shouted "this is me yelling" and he left the house. Sometimes I just wanna smack him, and yeah he feels the same way.

I think things are smoothing over, but I am not the type that really cares. At one point I would have but some of you know why I have desensitized and I like not caring a whole lot better. I am sure Dr Phil would disagree!

Oh by the way I am off today, and should be doing laundry. Our hot water tank wasn't heating, well I am not sure what the problem was. We'd only have hot water for 10 minutes and we had to turn the knob all the way over. Normally if you do that the water is literally scalding. So I let it go the 1st day it happened and called yesterday. They came to check it while we weren't here, so I assumed they fixed it. What was I thinking? This is the same company that couldn't fix a water leak. Last night when I filled J's bath the water was still luke warm, but James said it was fine this morning, so we'll see. I had my dad email a list of things that they should check on it. But since it's Friday I think I should check it now, because they won't come out over the weekend.

My feet stink

I didn't wear socks today. I have been off since 1pm and just now took off my shoes. I guess I shoulda left em on, lol.

This whole house thing is really kickin my ass. There's so much info and questions and things to do. One good thing is......The loan we chose has a decent interest rate, so we won't be paying a fortune (as I was led to believe) What makes our monthly payment go up is the fact that we don't have a down payment. We have to have a PMI policy (mortgage ins) until we accrue 20% equity. Once that happens our payment will go down a $100 or so. We have 6 houses to look at starting tomorrow. I would love to find something for oh I don't know a 100 grand, but it's impossible.

Monday night I got like 4 hours of sleep and was dead on my feet all day yesterday, it was awful.

I am waiting for the guys to get back from the barber shop and then it's off to Karate.

I should be sleeping

I have the car, but J is getting a ride home. Too bad he didn't take a key, so I have to stay up anyway. :(

I think I am going to attatch a house key to his work set. It's never a definate that someone is willing to drop him off on Mondays, but I am tired of waiting up on the rare occasion that he does get a ride.

The really crappy thing is he has to open tomorrow, so I have to be up at 6:30 am. Doesn't that just suck? (for both of us, but at least he gets to sleep in until 7:30)

I am so freaking hungry. I will have to buy quick prep food tomorrow. Lunch meat or something. I hate cooking for just one person, and I am getting tired of 3 minute ramen noodles. I had the making of a BLT (my fav) but I lacked the bread. My dumb ass just went shopping on saturday, but didn't buy another loaf. I guess I thought saving that 88 cents would get me somewhere.

I am really in the mood for a Turkey wrap from the mall. Mmmmm. But it'll waste too much gas, drivin over there just for a damn wrap. I'll treat myself when I take Little J to get pictures taken.

Tomorrow while at work I am going to choose a lining and straps for my new bag. Maybe I'll actually finish this one.

Good night. J isn't here yet, but my eyes are tired.

Mysterious rings

A few weeks ago something ate the finish off of our bedroom dresser. I went crazy trying to figure out what it was. I couldn't find anything that fit the ring, and everything that had been on the dresser was chemical free. Just now I noticed the salt shaker on it. James eats in there while he watches TV (the living room TV has crappy reception)The salt shaker is a perfect fit, but I want to know what the hell was on the salt shaker to eat my finish, but cause no harm to us. WEIRD, and maddening.

The real reason I am posting again is to show some photos.

When I made my sister a butterfly purse she was ecstatic over the material. She tried to think of something she could make with it but never came up with anything. BUT I DID. Saturday is her birthday and I made her some throw pillow shams. (and included the pillows.) I figure she can throw them on her sofa since most of her stuff is in the patterns color range.


This is material I bought to make a summer bag. Fabulous isn't it? I liked it so much that I didn't shirk at the $5 per yard price.

Mmmm, taco bell

The smell of taco bell is wafting in my back door and now I kinda want some!

Today my manager called me back to the office, and I thought my seasonal job was over. When I first got hired I asked him if there was the possibility to stay on as part time, after my 90 days. He said no, because I only work 3 hours a day, he just didn't need me. Sooooo. He doesn't need me but he wants me to stay. I am such a good employee that he made an exception, lol. I agreed to stay as long as he needed me too. But I am still looking for a full time job w/ better wages.

I am one step closer to a real estate agent, just have to call her tomorrow to schedule an appt, and let her know the properties we're interested in.

I have not made a dr's appt, but I promise I will. James is breathing down my neck too. I agreed that if we don't get pregnant this month I will go in and demand every test available!

I work 4 days this week, because they have 2 on vacation (remember I was down to 3 days) I don't mind since really, but if we get a house I will really have to work 40 hours. And I don't mind that either. I was worried about Being able to take James to karate, but we have since figured that out, and since it was my only concern things are fine now.

Time for me to eat dinner. But I have no idea what to make. I don't have anything that is "quick" :(

2 complaints of the day

1. I can not find my phone anywhere. I can only assume J took it by mistake, as I haven't left the house since I used it last. It is not on the table where I left it, and I have searched to no avail.

2. J threw my mop away. Because he didn't like it. The asshole threw my mop away. It needed a replacment sponge, so he must have thought it was just a bad mop. Didn't he know that you have to replace the sponge not the whole damn mop? Sometimes I want to choke him.

*edit* upon further insepction I have found my phone. It was wedged in the couch. Which means I probably left it on the arm of the couch and not the table as I previously remembered. ~

Mornin!

I woke up with J at 7 and couldn't go back to sleep. He is at work and Little J is watching TV. I tried to talk the man into getting me a newspaper, but I had already made him late by forgetting to put his clothes in the dryer.

Last night I looked up some info on PCOS, as Brandee suggested. When J got home he
said, "what's this? You don't have this!" Sometimes he can be the biggest moron. Just because I print out some information, (and my sis suggested this 3 months ago) doesn't mean I think I have something. I'm just looking into it, so I can talk to my doctor. My sister suggested it after I told her we have been TTC for a year now. (she's the only one who knows in my family) She reads up on all kinds of stuff, if you ever have a question there's a 95% chance she has an answer, but not in a know it all kinda way. She's always my first source for info.

I have found about 6 houses in our price range to look at, so we'll be contacting a realtor this week. I can't imagine being in our own home within a few months. It's fun to think about. By J agreeing to pay off the debt I am less concerned with the monthly mortgage, sure it will be higher then I want, but not much higher then our rent if we stay in this apt, and we won't be wasting all that money on CC bills. And we can always refinance. It's a fabulous feeling, knowing I might not have to spend the rest of my life in an apt.

I am so cold. It's about 30* right now and I try not to turn on my heat. I am fully clothed, but I had to turn it on to take the chill out. It's hard for me to get warm, which is why I hate being cold.

I forgot to mention

That last night, for no reason at all, I THREW UP. I don't throw up. Especially for no reason. We were laying in bed watching a movie and all of a sudden I felt sick. I thought if I took a couple of deep breaths it would pass (since this feeling happened last week or so while we were driving)But the next thing I knew I was running to the bathroom. GROSS. I was fine immediately after.


Walmart gave me no trouble at all, they usually don't. The walmart I go to may be trashy but the CS women couldn't care less. They aren't the bitchy type looking for a fight by telling you "no!"

I am exhausted for no reason, but naps (already took one) never help. I opened the blinds to let some sun in and hopefully the lethargy will lift.

J is working a mid shift and the house is a mess. I did some laundry and put in a load of dishes but I still have more to do. blahhhh

brrr

It was 70 yesterday and it has dropped to 40. I was in for quite a shock this morning. I went out in my t-shirt thinking it would be warm. But no I was hit with a nice cold wind. Luckily I had a clean sweater. (a thin one)


J and I have come to an agreement on the CC debt. Since we really do need two cars I am not that mad about having him use our tax refund, but the bills do need to be paid off. He agreed that we would use all his bonus checks this summer (unless it's an emergency) to pay the bills. FABULOUS. It will only take 3 of the six checks to pay off my debt. (and yes most of it's mine, not ours)SWEEEEET!

By having a 2nd car and paying off the debt, I will be able to work full time and not have to pay out so much in bills.

The only bad thing is our vacation. I am always nervous that I will get turned down for a job when I tell them I need a week off for a previous planned vacation. The bank tried to screw me (by agreeing and the conviently forgetting) and I swear the only reason they gave me the time off was because Gram had died.

I have to go to walmart because they charged me twice for something yesterday, J says they're not gonna give me my money back, but they better. And then it's on to Karate. Have a good saturday!

Karate Belt Rack Photos

Oh how I love it. Mom added a little gold plaque engraved with his name.

Lazy day

WE did nothing today. Little J had school of course, but in between nothing happened. Trying to conserve on gas, since payday is tomorrow and I have not a dime till then. I cleaned the kitchen and took a 2 hour nap. J tried to get the kid outside to practice riding his bike but the kid said no thank you. Something must be done before my son turns into a lazy blob like me. He'd rather play or read inside then out and that bothers me.

They are now at the gocery store, spending the last of a gift card on dinner. I can't wait to see what they buy.

I didn't reschedule (I did cancel) my appt, but I have to look at a calender and find time to talk with her, without little j running circles around me.

Warning

I set my comments to open in a new window, so if you are using a pop up blocker turn it off or add me to your "acceptable" list. ( I hate when I forget mines is on and I try to comment)

I guess there was a reason

For rescheduling my doctor's appointment yesterday. I got my "cycle" ( That's what James wants me to call it. He's so weird) this morning. And it came with a vengence. I don't know why the first few hours have to be so damn awful, but it has tapered off into something manageable.

I would have been so mad if I had spent $50 for the dr. and prescription. I am debating about going on Friday. I still want to know why I am not getting pregnant, but I should still be "cycling." Should I go or reschedule, maybe I should call the doctor and asks what she prefers. I'm not being silly, some dr's don't mind taking a look while you're bleeding, others do, I DO! So I guess I will call this afternoon and reschedule yet again.

J is off today but needed to go to work for something so he took little J to school. I want to go back to bed but cramps won't allow. I could clean but what fun is that? I think I will work on my rug and I bought some really nice material for a summer bag for only $0.80. It's a dark taupe solid and I am thinking I will trim it with chocolate and light blue. I already have a ribbon in mind. FUN! Also I was watching HGTV, it was a quilting show. Oh how I yearn for a quilting maching, if that wasn't the neatest damn machine I have ever seen!

Ohhhhhhh. I got the belt rack my dad made for james and it is beyond awesome. He made it so it can stand on it's own or hang on the wall. If it's on the wall the base becomes a little shelf. It's so nice. No one would ever think my dad made it. All those hoity toity's would LOVE it. I like it better then the one Karate sells, but maybe I am partial to it because it's hand made by dad and not $100! I'll try to remember to take a picture of it.

I had reece's peanut butter cups for breakfast, mmmm.

I'm off, have a good morning!

Yay for Ebay

J JR needs a new karate uniform. Well just the pants, but they only sell it as a set. His pants are too short and I don't want to pay $40 for them right now. I found a used uniform (and it even has his patches on it, lol) on ebay for $11 total. I will be keeping my eye on that!

OMG I just ate a whole can of chili. By myself. That's sick!

I swear I have to be anemic. I am always craving something high in iron. (remember the whole head of broccoli a while back) I'll have the Dr do a finger prick on Friday. Ouch I hate finger pricks. (To ME) they hurt worse then true blood draws.

I was watching wife swap, but I turned it off halfway through. It was a pretty good episode but I wanted to read my book some.

I finished another length of my rag rug. I have no idea how many it will take, but I think I have a long way to go. It's super easy and not at all time consuming, but I can only do a few lengths at a time before I get bored with it.

The lady at work, (the one who I am trying to get crochet lessons from) is crocheting an awesome afghan. It is shades of brown and light blue (one of my favorite color combinations!) I only caught a glimpse of it as I was walking from the office (she was on break I was not) I would love to have one exactly like the one she is making. I am hoping that I can learn enough from her to make one, even if it's a little one.

I am waiting for CSI Miami and MTV's The Gauntlet 2. They both come on at 10 and are both new episodes, man I need a DVR. James and I are addicted to Flava of Love on VHI. I am memorized by the sheer grossness of Flav and James is intrigued by the nasty girls. I love that we watch it together and have so much fun doing so! It's a real bonding experience, lol.

It's only 9, I guess I'll work on my rug some more.

Wordpress

I have a problem with Wordpress, but totally not with you who use it.

1. I hate that I have to register for each blog. Why can't I have one wordpress user ID. KWIM?

2. User names are case sensitive. Bahhh. By the time I realize it's my user name entered wrong, I have already changed my password a dozen times, and ripped my hair out.

So that's it. just 2 things.
EDIT~ Sheesh guys! What I meant was, I don't mind registering I just wish I could do it once for everybody. But Moody and Amy who are smarter then me, told me to use the same id. Which I think I did, except maybe not on Brandee's!

James was awful at karate tonight, so as punishment he can't watch tv. But that is like punishing myself, because now he is sitting in my face looking and asking a million questions about the apartment/condo floorplans I have laying around.

It's time for dinner and then he has a bath and it's early bedtime. I have to pick up james tonight, greaaaat!

Oh and I rescheduled my Dr's appt for Friday. The 13th that is. I hope nothing goes wrong. I am not normally supsersticious but as I am already having bad luck I am a little weary.

Rug update

I decided to start my rug. I chose a blue and white striped sheet (king sized work best) It is now the size of a small trivet (not sure if I spelled that right, you know the things you put hot pans on?) I am not sure how many strips I will get out of this sheet, so I may have to find some more that resemble it. If I can't and end up with another pattern, I will have to alternate the two, so when I shape it into a rug there is a bit of continuity to it.

I'll post a pic later.

It's colder in my house

then it is outside. I am fully dressed with socks on and my feet are still cold.

It's a beautiful 60* out, so yes I did go get a paper.

James is down for a nap because he was starting to get nutty. He covered himself in one of my comforters and was trying to be a ghost, one who almost knocked over my cup of tea. I told him to get on the couch and actually watch the movie he asked me to turn on. Instead of doing that he goofed off some more and spilled purple and blue yogurt on the floor. (it doesn't come out easily even with stain remover) So I sent him to take a nap.

I looked in the paper at houses (for sale and rent) The prospect just doesn't look good. I hate being the pessimistic one. I prefer to be called a "realist" When the lender did our debt/income ratio and gave us back a number on what we can afford James was pissed and wanted to work with someone else. He didn't realize this was standard practice, even with apartment complexes. We exceed that ratio right now with me not working. When we applied for this one, I had a full time job and was bringing home a nice paycheck. So anyway..... Every house in our area is at least 150K I know that's not alot but you don't know our bills and such. It's more then we can afford. I don't want to own a house, only to live worse off then now. That's ridiculous, and believe me buying a house will raise our "payment" by $500 or more. We cannot afford that. James says I should get a real job and I am all for that, but I also think that we just need to wait and save our money. I figured that if I got a job and saved 200 a month, plus we saved our income tax refunds we could have the down payment, a better credit score, and lower interest rates on the mortgage within 5 years. That way we could get a 200k+ home and actually being paying a reasonable mortgage on it. He wants everything !!!NOW!!! which bothers me, I will not pay 3-4x what someone with a higher credit score would pay. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

Let me stop being pissy.

Good morning!

I got out of bed about 30 minutes ago, but I have been up since 7:45.

Little James is a bundle of energy. I am trying to get him to practice his karate but it hasn't happened yet.

I am trying to summon the courage to walk to the newspaper stand. I am not sure how cold it is outside and I don't feel like bundling James up. Well, getting him out of his jammies and into clothes and a coat. I think I will have James bring me one when he gets off. I don't know why he doesn't just take the coupons/adds out of the one at work. I am sure he just throws them away, since he is the first person in and reading it.

I have decided what I am going to do with the holiday material I have. Since I think they are both too "busy" I am going to do strip of the print and then strips of solid, and keep them much smaller, like 12". I think they'd be really cute for a little girl, too bad I don't have one ;) My cousins' daughter's are still too young to like a bag (2.5 and 1.5) But ya know maybe my grown ass sister would enjoy them, since she is silly like that sometimes.

I think I need a cup of tea, my feet are cold. I have got to get more rugs for the kitchen and bathrooms. Speaking of which, I am going to make a rag rug. Just need to hit the remnant bins and the goodwill for cutable clothes. (anything can become a "rag") But since I never finish anything we'll see how that goes.

Brandee made me laugh when she said, "I guess that's freezing for you" I get cold easily even though I lived 18.5 years of my life in Northeastern Ohio. I'll never get used to it. If it's not at least 60 I'm cold.

I can't believe it's 4pm. I have done like 6 loads of laundry. Mostly linens. I hate stripping the beds, especially James'. It's really hard to get the liner on, since it has such deep pockets (to cover most of the backside too) and the car bed doesn't make it any easier. I long for his easy to maintain crib mattress. But as much as a I hate it not cleaning them is disgusting.

I have been tired all day. Even though I got a good night's sleep and ate breakfast and lunch. James has been eating non stop since he woke up. 2 bowls of grapes, ramen noodles, a goober grape sandwich and 2 bologna sandwiches. YIKES. He's in my ear right now saying "I'm hungry"

I think I may take a nap. We still have about 4 hours (at least) before James gets home from work.

I'm FREEZING

James took the brunt of my flailing arms and curse words like a champ. Once I was through screaming of my disgust at the situation, he talked me down. I am once again my snarky self, just a little less chatty.

I only work three days again next week (9 whole hours!) My hours are dwindling and I believe the end is near. I will miss my discount but the job wasn't that fantastic, nothing rewarding about being a cashier.

I have gathered the courage to make a quilt. Nothing fancy smanchy. It has been a dream of mine since James was born. I wanted to make one out of his baby clothes, but I couldn't make myself cut up his cute outfits. I went through my fabric bins today and found a calico that is really pretty. The pattern is aqua blue flowers w/ pink centers on a "feathery" white background. The woman I work with told me how to make an "easy" quilt and gave me a couple of pattern ideas. I haven't decided which to use. The first is just easy, plain blocks of aqua and pink with the print. (and forgive me I can't think of the word to describe what I mean right now, I keep saying interlocked in my head but it's not really locking, as just sewing a straight seam, maybe I mean interchanging.) The second is strips of the print and solids sewn together then cut into blocks. It would be pieced as blocks of vertical stripes, horizontal, vertical, etc. I think I will use the rest of my gift card on the materials.

I also found a valentine print and shamrock print, from James old daycare pillow cases, when I made a new one for every holiday. His teacher thought I was so awesome for changing them, lol. I think I am going to make them into bags. Or use them to line a solid, not sure which. I still have about 10 different patterns for bags that I haven't even looked at yet.

It's chilly here, this morning it was in the high 30's. I actually turned the heat on to take the chill out, since I couldn't get my hands warm enough. It's better now, but I decided I didn't feel like running around in the cold especially this evening, so I told James to drive to work today. Yeah I skipped Karate, but I think it's worth it to miss one class, if it means not having to lug a sleeping 45 pound James out in the cold tonight. He had two classes this week and that's all that's required. I think I am one of like 3 parents that actually bring the kids in 3-4 times a week.

We decided we're not going to move after all. It doesn't really make sense to move. I think our rents gonna go up about $100 though, YIKES. I'll need to keep my job. The reason it's so low now is we got a special for signing a one year lease. I only want to do a 6 month lease this time, and I am crossing my fingers that they are nice to me and don't raise the rent to market value.

I have tons to clean, so I guess I better get going. Thanks for the (((hugs))) I really felt awful the other night!

I was having such a great day. James was off and dropped me off at work. It ended up I wasn't on the schedule, woopsie I hadn't checked. So James turned right back around and picked me up. We went to Panera and then looked at apartments. The ones I wrote about earlier were AWFUL. The leasing agent was really sweet but that doesn't make up for the way they allow their tenants to let their porches look like a crapfest. The patios were HUGE and screened in, but all of them were piled high with an assortment of shit. So we kept looking and found two that we REALLY like. James has made an appt with a realtor, and he is going to see what we can afford and then let us know what's available.

Then we took James to karate and he was doing great.

On the way home my best friend called me. I have written about her but not in great length. Here's the run down. She got involved with someone who already has 5 kids. She lied to me and said they weren't having sex and then got PG. They are now living in a hotel (because he keeps getting laid off and they have gotten evicted from 2 apts.) and have custody of 4 of his kids plus their's together. (what judge gives custody to someone without a steady income and living in a hotel????) So basically she's like the guy and his ex's nanny.

So the beginning of the conversation is the usual, then she blurts out.......
"are you pregnant yet? because I am!" Ummmm what. She then goes on to say she had to go to the hospital earlier because she was bleeding and she had wished she had miscarried. (she said she knew it was wrong to feel that way, but she doesn't want this baby) So that was the end of my good day. I didn't say much else, I let her talk. Then when I got off the phone I was hysterical. How does she, who doesn't even want a baby, get pregnant. When they can't even afford the FIVE that already live with them. Life is ironic and I feel like shit. I'm not happy for her and I didn't pretend to be. It was stupid of her to allow it to happen. She's 25 for pete's sake and although she's poor, there's a family planning in her city. She could have gotten birth control pills for free. I know she's my best friend but I don't want to talk to her right now. And yeah I wasn't supportive, I called her a moron. She wasn't offended.

I have a bad feeling about being able to enroll James in the elementary school I like.

Remember when the Pre-k told me to call back in a few weeks because they didn't have all their info and when I did that they were full?

Wellllll. I just called the school and she said she doesn't have the info and they won't be starting the necessary school tours for about 3 weeks. The applications are due in by February 26th, so it doesn't seem to make much sense to me.

My other option is to make sure we move over there so he can be enrolled as a regular student which takes place in April.

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I called my insurance and of course my dr. is considered a specialist. I thought maybe it would have been the same as when I was pg w/ James and had BCBS. Since you can't see a general practioner when you're pg, they shouldn't (and weren't then) be considered a specialist, don't you agree?

Since I haven't gotten pregnant yet, I don't want to go back to a General Practioner, who is just going to refer me to an OB-Gyn, who may refer to someone else. It's a vicious cycle!

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I'm starving. I should really start eating lunch!

I wanted a salad really bad, but I have no veggies. How sad for me. I only have food that are high in carbs. I ate some pasta and now I want to throw up. It was too heavy and I'm gaining 5 pounds as we speak. If I was at all the healthy type I would do some sit ups or something.


In real world news. I have until Feb 26 to send in the application for a magnet school (James, kindergarten)

Most of the schools are in bad neighborhoods. I understand the reasoning behind it. I understand by making these schools "magnet" schools they get more money and nicer facilities, which benefits everyone that goes to that school. But James doesn't want the kid going to school in the ghetto.

So there are two schools (in the magnet program) by us that I like. Even if he doesn't get into their magnet programs I'd still be able to enroll him as a regular student if we move into the Townhouse I have been talking about.

To make a long story short as part of the application process I have to tour the school. James is off wednesday and thursday, so we'll go then. It still surprises me how he wants to take part in stuff like this. I don't remember my dad at my kindergarten screening, but then again he didn't have the luxury of time off to do so.

I don't want to appear that I am stirring the pot, and I have left too many comments for MS. MOODY. So I thought I would just mention the rest of what I wanted to say.

1. I eat bologna and mustard, I have never tried it with mayo or miricle whip (ew)

2. I so wanted to leave her (not MM) a comment saying "bless your heart" which is a southerners way of nicing someone to death. Although it is said in a sympathetic tone, it really means "go to hell" (97.5% of the time)

3. I thought it was funny that in her blog (not MM) she went on to say how mean you were. Like your obligated to be nice to a complete stranger that is saying she doesn't like you.

Ok so that's it. Now let the sensitive one crawl back under her rock and we can get back to our regular scheduled program.

I had a few moments to myself to think about things. Nothing life changing, just what was going on within myself. I don't feel better but when you want something and don't get it there is always that lingering sadness.

I don't want trying to have a baby to consume my life. I don't want to have to chart and take my temps, while timing sex and taking drugs and all that. I want it to happen because it's God's will and I have to accept that if it's going to happen it's because we are truly deserving of a second child. Some people aren't even blessed with one child, so I shouldn't let it hurt so bad that I can't have a second.

I know I don't come across as the most religious person in the world but I don't believe I need to speak of my faith or preach to people, just to be a "good" Christian woman. I am often a sinner(aren't we all at some point) but at the end of the day I know the reason I am here, and that I am subject to a higher power.

I am going to make a doctor's appointment and see what she says, and if she doesn't give me enough info or do what I feel is a thorough exam I will find a new GYN, and go from there.

Thank you for your support. It makes me smile just to know you take time to show sympathy.

We've officially been TTC for a year now.

I am late again this month w/ a negative pg test.

I'd really like to know why. I have never been irregular, and it's driving me crazy. It's time for my dr. to do more then a blood test on me now.

I'm upset about it, even though I try not to show it.

James brought home the packet!

He aslo had to open this morning, after closing last night. I hate that BS. He didn't get home until 1:30 and then he had to be back at 8. Total CRAP!

I got an email from my dad syaing we put James' bike together wrong. (James noticed and fixed it on christmas) I thought it was funny that dad noticed from my pictures. We had the front wheel backwards. I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put it on, lol.

James took the rent check down already, since I forgot last month. I had it all ready and completley forgot. I put it in the box on the 3rd, but after they closed so I crossed my fingers that they wouldn't charge me. They didn't and now James has taken over the task of dropping it off. Since I can't be trusted ;)

I slept till 10 and then took a shower. It's a lovely day and I think we'll go out and practice the bike riding. James is like me, if he can't get something the first time he gets mad and doesn't want to do it. James sr lacks the patience to make him try. I have commited myself to ten minutes a day. I am sure he'll get the hang of it and if he's not overdoing it he might actually enjoy it. It brings back the memory of his frustration while learning to write his name. He'll get it after some practice. I am very calm (james sr is not) while I'm out with him. I don't want him to think I am mad that he can't do it. Everytime he cries and says he can't I tell him that's what he said about writing and now he does it just fine. So far it's working but he still won't stay on for long.

What a ramble! I also have to finish un-decorating for Christmas. I have most of the ornaments off the tree and the countertop cleared. Just have to stip the tree and take the lights off the back porch. Shouldn't take long. I just remember years past when the back porch was all decked out and it took forever to take down. Simplicity is Bliss!

Happy New Year! I hope 2006 is a great one. Now I just have to practice writing it, lol!