It's been a rough day

I got a call from the insurance company to say they approved me but....... Since my recent c-section they would be increasing the premium. Since when do c-sections increase premiums? I would have taken it better if they had said "do to your shitty credit score we must take more of your money." Will I be having another c-section? Not anytime soon, if ever, and if I so choose I will be working and have much better insurance then the crap I'm being charged an arm and a leg for. Do c-sections pose some imminent health risk, like oh say smoking, drinking or sun bathing? What the fuck? Pardon that please. All in all I gave up my 100% coverage w/ no deductible for the same price as the high deductible coverage I have now. Before any of us can be seen by a specialist (there goes my gyn) we have to pay $1500. Before any hospitalization $1500. We do get well care visits, immunizations and well woman physicals for $25 copay. WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? I gave up awesome insurance to save $150 and then they come back and slap me in the face. I knew that the quote could change. But did I think it really would? No. Seeing as we have only been hospitalized, knock on wood, for delivery and we don't get sick enough to visit the Dr for anything other then well visits once a year. I spent the afternoon sobbing and trying to keep myself from banging my head against the wall. Sure we have the money to pay for the insurance but it will now take up 100% of our savings when we expected it to take 50%. What a nice thing to happen right before summer vacation. I am going to feel like such an ass being the penny pincher who can't afford to do anything when we get to Ohio. And J's trip to Miami? Nixed. The only reason I am not canceling Ohio is because the tickets are non refundable.

In other news. I vacuumed, mopped and did some laundry. It did not make me feel better. I ate 10 rainbow chips ahoy. It did not make me feel better. I took a nap with Christopher. It did not make me feel better because he chuckled all over my fresh shirt. I know this comes with the territory but he's not the chuckling kind. *chuckling is spitting up in Bonnie Talk.*

My sister bought a new camera. The one I want. She called to tell me what a deal she got. She did not do this to be a butt. She was calling to tell me the website so I could buy one too. She did not know the stupid day I had and all I could do is quietly say "I can't afford it." I felt like a loser. My family doesn't talk about money like some folks do so my sister doesn't know that we are poor. Nor did she know the state of our bank account when we were doing well. But it still makes me feel bad that I can't afford a new camera because I have to spend the $500 in birthday money on health insurance. And now I must go because typing that made me cry.