"where does depression hurt?"

I am in the famous Bonnie black hole. I can't figure it out. So many things...... they are all eating at me. J doesn't even notice. I am at my wits end at work and I let them know that last night. I am seriously thinking about quiting. Little J has been misbehaving at school again. Our lease is up in two months and J wants to move. He thinks we can buy a house by then. I wish I was as positive and upbeat about it. The thought of it makes me nauseous and it also makes me cry. His sister just closed on a house so now I also have the jealousy to deal with. Why am I like this? Why am I not happy no matter what's happening?

I just to crawl into bed and stay there....