sooo

We never got the directv. We didn't realize that the only way to get it upstairs was to A. Run wires from the dish through the house or B. Cut a hole in the screen and run them along the exterior wall and then in the master's window (another hole) and still running a wire all the way across the room. Since we didn't want wires all over the place and the HOA will not allow wires on the exterior not to mention we don't want holes in the screens, we decided not to get Directv. Which is sad for us. We have had it before and I love all the channels. We also got rid of the AT&T since they weren't supposed to connect it in the first place but did anyway. They tried to charge me the connection fee even though I didn't request service and they would not waive it. I filed a complaint with the BBB and AT&T has agreed I should not be charged since it was their error that they connected service.

School is going well for James. He still has trouble keeping quiet but he has not thrown one tantrum, knock on wood. He still gets a little huffy at home but not nearly as often as before. We had open house last night and J says he doesn't like James' teachers. His judge of character is usually spot on but I disagree with him on this one. They seem enthusiastic and like they really enjoy teaching. I think he didn't like their tones of voice. They were a little cheesy but who isn't in that type of situation. I can tell you right now that when I said "hello, how are you????" it was not in my "normal" voice. Most everyone does it. J included. He doesn't speak slang in front of his boss so why would teachers do anything other than be super cheerful? They want us to be as excited as they are. Think of it as a pep rally.......... In the end I am still happy with his class and the way they do things. And again it is a smaller student/teacher ratio than the single teacher classrooms that are now up to 25 kids.

The "gifted" testing was done this week and while I know James excels in most areas I don't think he will test well, he usually forgets everything he knows when test day rolls around. I would, as everyone else would theirs, love my son to be "exceptional" but I think he's more of an ordinary smart. And that's just fine with me. His daddy of course expects him to be a genius and even tried to talk to him about it. I changed the subject fast and J just gave me "what is with you?" look. I would love for James to move ahead but if he doesn't I don't want him to feel bad. I did not mention what the test was for just that they (all 2nd graders) would be taking it. I don't know if everyone will get results or just those that are "exceptional."

I have been out of sorts. It's hard for me to be in the house and deal with the boys 24 hours a day. As with all mothers, this is a full time job with no day off. But unlike most mothers my emotional/mental stability has always been in question. I have a hard time with noise, among other things. So when Christopher is screaming and James is chattering away and J has the TV on full blast I tend to lose it. I know I look like a basket case but I can't help it. You can usually find me hiding in the closet. J knows and tries to understand. It's especially hard for me to climb out of the hole. Once I get to a certain point I shut down. Like now. And J is not sensitive to it at all, which makes it worse. I feel like every time I open my mouth he is belittling or chastising me. J would say I was over reacting but I am not so sure.

I have started walking. Not only to I need to lose 70 pounds ;) but I think it might help me feel better. As of now I fear that if I don't do something soon it will be full blown depression and I don't want to go through that again. I try to get out 3 days a week for an hour but lately it's been raining. I went out on wednesday and am trying to go in a little while if the weather holds. It's cloudy and gray but hopefully the rain will hold off.